Advice... with a twang

Advice can be taken or given, and I’d like to say it is given too often by people who don’t have a clue- one can’t ever know the whole story, the back story, or even the consequences of the advice, whether it was taken or ignored. You can even take the advice with a grain of salt, a shot of tequila, or you can take it and run with it. You can blame someone for their bad advice, credit them with the good. You just never really know where it will get you. But we still give and take advice freely and often seek it out. So on that note, I would like to share some advice that I have gotten through my life… via country music.

“Sometimes you are the windshield, sometime you’re the bug.” -Either way, you are doomed. (Mary Chapin Carpenter)

Red solo cups can be considered friends. -But because they are tangible, they aren’t considered imaginary friends. (Toby Keith)

Giving beer to your horses is an appropriate action to take after enforcing martial law. Just make sure the whiskey is for the men. -So long as you aren’t wasting my tequila. (Toby Kieth)

“If you are going through hell, just keep going.” - Well, I thought I’d like to take the scenic route, and you know, smell the flowers or something. (Rodney Atkins)

If you come home and find your cheating wife murdered, before you fire a shot to flag the police down, go talk to your sister. -Or I don’t know, call the cops with your phone? (Reba Mcentire)

Leaving all the lights on in the house is an acceptable way of showing someone how much you miss them. -First, this is bad energy usage. Second, that only works if that person is stalking you, goes by your house at night and sees those lights. (Trace Adkins)

“You’ve got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, and know when to run.” -Actually, this is pretty good advice, so far as advice goes. (Kenny Rogers)

Don’t be impressed by fancy cars, excellent hair care, and fancy degrees. -For this, I shall refer back to some pop music advice- It’s in his kiss. (Shania Twain)

When you drink don’t drive, do the Watermelon Crawl. -Is the “Watermelon Crawl” a normal line dance done drunk? (Tracy Byrd)

If that is your story, stick with it. -Just make sure that your story is the truth. That hammock was thrown in the attic. (Collin Raye)

Getting married after dating for only a few months will result in the “Big D.” -D for divorce, and D for “duh.” (Mark Chestnut)

Oh advice... you crack me up. And country music advice, you confuse the heck out of me.