Choose Your Family

Being the person I am, knowing I have very little filter and a lot of sass, when I know I will cross the line I like to give people a heads up. I do this because if I have decided something, and I know I am stubborn enough to follow through with it. And while they may still be offended, at least they know I am honest about it- I don’t believe in backstabbing or talking behind backs like a petty gossip. If I want to say something to you I will say it to your face.

Now that I have prefaced it, and probably scared half of my readers off. I will get to the point, or subject rather. My comment that I have warned people about is my wedding invite list. Now, first, no, I do not have a fiancée nor a boyfriend for that matter. Second, I am not actually planning my wedding in any way nor is this a result of the fact that I have two weddings this year, with another one this year and four more to attend next year. It just is a thing, so back to my wedding list. I will be inviting the people I want there. I will not be inviting people to whom societal traditions indicate it is an obligation to invite. Or specifically, just because you are “family” does not mean I will invite you. When I get married, my wedding will be a party, it will be a celebration of something bigger and better and when I create the invite list, the people that will be invited are the people who are involved in my life, respect and love me.

And, frankly, I have a more friends that do that for me than family. Before I continue, I will state that I love my family to no end. And I would do absolutely anything for them- most especially my sisters. But there, as Zazu from the Lion King says “There's one in every family. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions.” And this is my theory on family versus friends. Friends are family, except that because they are friends there is no obligation between you. You can walk away from each other at any point. They have no bond to you. So you treat them with more respect, you cherish the relationship and you have to work to keep it strong or it will die. Family members tend to take their relationships for granted: “You have to love me, I am your Aunt/Uncle/Cousin/etc” And what kind of relationship is that? I should love you because you are an inspiration, and the relationship has been kept strong. Not because I have to.

I want my family to be there. I just want people to know that I do not guarantee a relationship (invite) because I share a few genetic markers with you. For that matter, my best friend has brown hair same as me so we are just as related. If not more so because she respects our relationship and treasures it.

My recommendation (if you are one of my family members that are insulted by my atrocious beliefs) is that you remember that I am saying this now so you don’t get but-hurt when I do get married. And if you want to come to that future epic party (and trust, it will be epic) treat me like you would a treasured friend. And maybe, treat all your family as such. Just because you are blood-related, doesn’t mean you get to be an ass-hat and then forgiven because of that family tie.