Decisions

Decisions are hard, that is why decision making is considered a skill. And I am not just talking about what to wear each day, though I do admit that there are some days that deciding what to wear can literally bring on a bad hair day and result in wearing sweats sitting in front of the TV eating a tub of ice cream… wait, I digress. And I guess in some ways I am trying to make this situation a little bit easier, lighter, and maybe even worth a small smile (and keep me from turning this into an accusatory, inflammatory, tirade against OMS). What I am trying to say is I get to share a little bit of hard news regarding my future.

After being medically evacuated to Thailand for knee surgery and some massive vegetable/fruit eating binges, I was then medically separated back to the United States. I know not any serious new news for you all. What after the PC grapevine, and my own socialite tendencies, if you hadn’t heard well, that’s a whole other situation and not really my cup of tea. So, back to my story, I was separated from PC and was relocated back to Nebraska to stay with my family while I readjusted to the American lifestyle, finished healing my knee, and got to spend time with family. Mostly it was a lot of food consumption, hugs and physical therapy.

When I finished physical therapy and got full clearance from my orthopedic doctor and my physical therapist I began to start the process of getting cleared by Peace Corps. Request clearance from country- country director, site, manager, and the works. Bam. All attained. Request clearance from PC Country Desk Operator. Check that too. Confirm that PC has received and approved all the clearance forms/letters from doctors in order to gain “official clearance”. Not so check, left messages, sent emails, called country desk for help, even tried the PC main phone number to be connected with ANYONE. Still no replies. Hmmmm. Let’s wait a few days. How about weeks. How about months. OK, I have now been medically separated from Peace Corps for 3 months (with an extra month for the med-evac. portion making the total time away from site 4 months). It became a fight against OMS to get clearance (or even communication). Unless I get clearance and a flight in the next week I will miss Camp OHALOW. Missed camp, and not going to lie, I hurt a bit because of that. But I heard OHALOW was a phenomenal success so I toughened up and pushed even harder to get back. Now it has been a bit over 5 months and I begin realize that it is not a priority for OMS to get my medical clearance done. I now have to consider that living in my parents basement, no car, no job, and no life in Nebraska is not really an option and seeing as OMS should be renamed “Office of Missed you, but not Sorry” I need to figure out what I am going to do.

So 6 months later I start applying for jobs, going to job fairs, cleaning up my resume, and mentally coming to terms with the fact that due to a bum knee and a lackluster medical office, I would not be able to return to Ukraine to complete my full two year commitment. That is something that will take me a long time to come to terms with, I mean, I made a commitment to myself, to Peace Corps, to my fellow PCVs, to Ukraine, and most important to my partner organization (the Rivne Branch of the All Ukrainian Network of People Living with HIV). It was a two year promise to share my knowledge, to learn about Ukraine and to try and make a difference. And now I won’t be able to finish that. So all I can say is thank you for the opportunity Ukraine. Thank you Peace Corps. My life has been changed, and I am a better person now. I feel in love with Ukraine- its culture and its people. I made some truly amazing friends and I was privileged enough to have the opportunity to be a part of something fabulous. My only regret is that I couldn’t say goodbye to my friends, my Ukrainian families (who redefined what hospitality means, and had opened not only their homes but their hearts to me) and to my coworkers. I know I will go back to Ukraine and visit everyone and I don’t believe in goodbyes, but it’s hard just the same. Дякую Україні. За все. Я буду відвідувати знову!